'American Idol 10' - Top 5 results show recap

The Top 5 and Ryan after Wednesday's performance show.

I rather enjoyed last night's show, especially Haley's second, breakout performance. It's been a while since we've had a genuine "moment" on this show and I'm happy it was Haley who gave it to us. But it's all academic now as we prepare to learn who survives and who goes home this week. I'm pretty convinced it'll be Jacob, but you never know.

Just to put it all into perspective, Top 5 eliminations have included RJ Helton, Trenyce, George Huff, Nadia Turner, Paris Bennett, Chris Richardson/Phil Stacey, Brooke White, Matt Giraud, and Aaron Kelly. Need I say more!

Cold opening featuring clips of the performances, judges' comments, and a dire warning from Ryan about how important this week is. Voiceover man intros the judges. JLo is wearing some sort of poufy skirted number. Ryan enters via the Adam Lambert Memorial Staircase. Ryan tells us 60 million votes came in, the highest of the season. He congratulates Steven Tyler as a "soon to be best-selling author." Steven says he's very excited about his new book. It's also a big week for JLo. She's performing "On the Floor" (again?) and we get a sneak peak of the video for her next single "I'm Into You." Randy's got a bake sale coming up. Heh! And Lady Antebellum is performing (although not live).

The Top 5 sing "Happy Together." It's as awful as you'd expect. Could James' pants be any tighter? They're about to split when he kneels down! I miss Casey. It's like they've all regressed into bad audition mode! Finally, this mess ends.

Ryan announces the start of auditions for 'American Idol 11!' Wow. Now for the Ford video. James juggles with a chair on his nose. Jacob is lapping up every second of camera time tonight. More fluff and filler. The kids go to Chef Ramsey's kitchen. The are challenged to make an omelet. Tee hee hee. They all mess up. Jacob sings to his eggs. Someone curses. Ramsey throws Haley's in the trash and says Jacob's looks like a plate of vomit. James gets a "good effort" and Lauren recieves high praise for her creation. Scotty's is indescribable. Ramsey spits it out. Lauren wins and Jacob comes in second. You'd think they'd just won 'Idol' or something. And this stupidity is "to be continued."

Lady Antebellum performs their new single, "Just a Kiss." I'm going to make a sandwich. Results are next.

More filler. The finalists tell us how they choose a song. Scotty says he flips index cards, but James tries to be serious about it all. Then they talk about wardrobe. Jacob says his plaid jacket was fun, and they all put the jacket on. This is just plain annoying.

Now for some results? Ryan says we might be surprised. Not Jacob? James is first. He's got some blond highlights in his hair. Jimmy Iovine comments that James' voice closed down during "Without You" and "that really hurt him." He says James has been a 9 or 10 for the past few weeks, but last night was an 8. James is sent off to the left side of the stage.

Lauren is next. Some strange things happen with the audio. Jimmy liked "Flat on the Floor," but that she pulled back on the biggest not of "Unchained Melody." He says fear overcame performance and this could keep her out of the finals. He thinks she will be in the Bottom 2. Lauren goes to the right side of the stage. James looks like he's hyperventilating. "What does this all mean?" asks Ryan. Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until JLo "heats up the stage."

Oh man, more with Chef Ramsey. Lauren and Jacob are in a blind taste test. They have plate of food and have to identify it.Neither of them much care for the tofu. James thinks it's lard.

Back from the break. Ryan is sitting in the audience with Steven and Randy. JLo's song is No. 1 in 18 countries. Randy intros the song. Pitbull comes through the audience. JLo is all in gold lame genie outfit. She is singing live and gets a bit breathy there for a moment. It's quite the production. Where are the Idols?

We return from the break, and while JLo is changing, there's a sneak preview of her new video. She's all over some buff model guy. Wonder how scrawny Mark feels about all this? She's back in her seat and we get back to the results.

Jacob joins Ryan. He looks like a little boy. Jimmy Iovine says Jacob had a rough night  and both songs were slightly off. He says everyone knows when you lose confidence. He ranks Jacob a 6. Jacob joins Lauren.

Haley is next. The audience cheers. Jimmy says Haley was running fourth or fifth, and he thought she needed to do something risky. He says she didn't let the criticism get to her and gets a ten for the night. He thinks she's a lock for the finale. She joins James.

That leaves us with Scotty. Jimmy says Scotty killed him last night and calls the performance stellar. He thinks he came up short on "Always on my Mind." He has no doubt Scotty will "have an extraordinary recording career whether he wins or not."  Ryan tells Scotty that last week, although he stood with Casey, he wasn't in the bottom 2, and in fact, never has been. Scotty is safe. Ryan asks him which group he thinks is the bottom 2 and tells him to go stand with that group. He refuses to do it. Ryan slides him over to James and Haley, and then tells them they are all safe.

This leaves Jacob and Lauren as the bottom 2. Lauren is crying. We go to break. Again.

Back from the break. The lights dim. "After 60 million votes, the person going home tonight is Jacob. Lauren, you are safe." I score!  Lauren goes over to Scotty and hugs him. Jacob says America has fallen in love with him, and now he can put out that good old R&B. We see his video clip. Lots of screaming and wild Jacob antics. Jacob is LOVE! He looks like he's about to cry, but then starts laughing. "Dreams come true, and I'm a living witness." See you on the tour baby!

Jacob sings us out with "House is not a Home."  He doesn't want to stop and riffs out right over the credits! So, we have two guys and two girls. Looking more and more like a Scotty/James finale folks.