The best thing 'Idol' is doing this season is bringing back former contestants every week. Makes sense, really, considering this is the place where they got their start. This week, Season 3's Jennifer Hudson and Season 10's James Durbin will be hitting the stage to entertain during the hour.
As for the results, TMZ is reporting we're in for a "shocker" tonight. "One of the absolute favorites to win the competition will be eliminated," they report. But, of course, we have the save, so whoever it is will have a second chance. They have to use the save before the Top 5, after all. Who would be shocking? I'm thinking Colton.
We'll soon find out!
Expect The Unexpected, we are warned! Cold opening featuring scenes from before the performances, clips of the songs, comments from the judges - basically, two hours encapsulated into one minute. Oh how I miss the days of the half-hour results shows.
Voiceover man is on point with his judges intro, and as usual, Ryan enters via the Adam Lambert Memorial staircase. That staircase will always belong to Adam! The audience is overjoyed with all of this, of course. Ryan tells us that James Durbin and J’Hud (featuring Ne Yo) are in the house. Ryan asks Randy if he’s worried about the results. Randy says he’s always nervous at this point in the competition because anyone can go.
Now for the treat of the week. The Top 7 perform Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” out of tune and featuring PP stroking Colton’s hair. This is pretty bad. Their voices are all so different there’s no harmony whatsoever. They do a little cheerleading-like choreography, and I’m thinking we’re sure to have a nice pointy pose ending! They end up behind the judges and yes indeed, we get a delightful pointy pose ending.
Arghhhhh.
Back from the break for the Ford video. This week, it’s all about line drawings in notebooks. Cheap much? Song - “Great Escape” - get it? Okay, now for this week’s celebrity Tweets. Kellie Picker sent one, Skylar Grey sent one, and Jazmine Sullivan also sent one. We’ve even got a prom invitation for Colton. Hollie got an invitation to Tate Allen’s spring formal in Mississippi. Tate is cute. Elise got some feather earrings from a friend in Charleston and gives one to Steven! Nice
Time for some results. Hollie and Jessica join Ryan center stage. We know the drill now, right. We see clips and hear Jimmy’s comments. Jimmy says they are both good technically good. One has learned bad habits and the other good. Hollie sounded contrived, stiff, and not in the right place. Jessica can basically do no wrong. Jessica says she’s been working hard all her life. So there.
Dim the lights. “After the nationwide vote, Hollie, would you start a group on the right side of the stage.” Jessica goes to the other side. Oh noooooo, the “Huff” is coming (group is divided in half and the last person has to choose which group is safe or some such nonsense). And I’m guessing that since Jennifer Hudson is performing tonight, George Huff, who was the first Idol to be put in this precarious position, will also be along singing backup and witness the continuation of this particularly tired Idol component.
James Durbin performs “Higher Than Heaven” from his debut album. He starts out from behind a curtain. He’s a blonde now and singing into a strange little microphone, which I assume is creating a slight distortion to his voice. Oh, James Durbin, you’re such a rawk stah. I think this is prerecorded because I don’t see the contestants anywhere. Oh, yeah, there they are, clapping half-heartedly.
Ryan congratulates James on his success and his New Year’s Eve wedding. Stephano was best man, and they held up the wedding 18 minutes waiting for Casey. James is going out on tour starting tonight and has sold 100,000 records. James does a rocker hand gesture as we go to break.
Back from the break with Jessica and Hollie in their respective spots. Elise and Phillip are next. Jimmy says we have two singer/songwriters who are usually character singers. If you’re missing the soul, you have a mess, basically, and have Dave Matthews doing a Maroon 5 song. Jimmy doesn’t think Elise did enough to pull herself out of the bottom three. He thinks PP will be in the bottom three.
Dim the lights - Phillip joins Hollie (bottom three, ya think?). Elise joins Jessica. The drama is far from over, Ryan tells us! Who will be this year’s Huff? J’Hud and Ne Yo next.
I wonder if I’d get seasick if I went to see ‘Titanic’ in IMAX 3-D?
Now for my girl singing “Think Like a Man.” Highly choreographed with lots of dancers clad in black. Jenny looks amazing in a leather mini and skin tight black top. Her hair is great too, poofy top, long braid. The song is predictable, but the performance is highly entertaining.
Twenty minutes to go until the shocking results. I want to be shocked, but I think the only one who would shock me would be Jessica. Maybe it’s PP? Oh, Idol, why do you torment us so?
Colton and Joshua take the stage (so it’s Skylar who’ll be the Huff). Jimmy thinks they both did well. Joshua nailed it -natural, flawless, fit like a glove. Colton interpreted it and believed every word. “I’m in on both of them.”
Ryan asks Colton what it will take to get the judges on their feet. J’Lo says they’ll do it when they feel it. Guess they're not feeling him, right?
Joshua joins Jessica and Elise, leaving Colton with Hollie and PP. Skylar is still on the couches trying to figure out what is going on. Haven’t you ever watched this show before. They do it every freakin’ year. Harrumph.
Anyway, Jimmy worries that Skylar can get left behind. She’s both a singer/songwriter and a pro. He thinks she’s subtle. “She should not be in the bottom three.” He thinks the B3 is Phillip, Elise and Hollie. Ryan tells Skylar she is safe! And, of course, she is asked to pick the group she thinks she belongs with. She refuses. Ryan walks her to the Hollie, PP, Elise group and tells them they are all safe. This, of course, means Joshua, Jessica, and Elise are the bottom 3. Really? Hollie beats the three of them? PP? Come on.
Randy says this is a “ridiculous bottom three.” America got it wrong. Steven says they’re going to use the save tonight. This is stupid.
Joshua is declared safe, and it's down to Elise and Jessica. Got to be Elise, right. Wrong! "The person in danger of elimination tonight is... Jessica! Oh, come on. this feels totally rigged to me. Jessica? She starts singing for her life, and the judges storm the stage. J’Lo is screaming, "Gimme that mike... stop singing, we’re gonna use the save." Jessica seems stunned and doesn't quite know what to do or where to go. Mayhem ensues. Randy is pissed. He says, “This girl is one of the best singers in America.” He urges us to vote. Ryan asks Jessica if she was surprised. She says not really!
Jessica sings us out. Her mom comes up on the stage. And we’re out.
I am so done with this show!
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