But, of course, I won't do that! How else will my faithful readers find out what they missed by not watching. My motto - I'll watch so you don't have to! The sacrifices I make in the name of honest journalism (or bloggerism, or whatever)!
Here's how it all went down.
Cold opening features videos from Tuesday night and contestant comments. Ryan opens the show, and we see most of the Top 12 sitting in the front row. Ryan lets us nearly 47 million votes were cast. The video feed looks weird, almost like it was prerecorded.
The Top 3 come out and Ryan asks Casey about his perspective. Casey says it's surreal and that it really sank in when he when home. Crystal says you don't see how much work goes into the show from the outside. Lee says it's totally different than what he thought it would be and he's learned a lot about himself. Crystal says the experience makes them stronger and better people.
When asked if he wants to win, Casey says he never thought he would get this far, and it's so much more than he ever expected. "It can't be bad." Crystal says she's cool with whatever happens, but she'd love to win. Lee says he wants to win, but going through the steps seemed so far. "I've never wanted to win more than I do right now." Crystal says that they're at the stage where anything's attainable.
Ryan wonders how they are balancing the competition and their "real lives." Lee says while he'd love to hang out with friends and family, this has to be his main focus. Casey says he gets at least 150 text message a day, but he doesn't have time to get back to them. Crystal says she gets tugged in a million directions. She has her son to take care of as well as her diabetes. She says she's feeling better than ever and is getting great care because she is a contestant.
Randy says they've all found some direction. Crystal says everything the judges have said has been helpful. She thanks them. Lee says every week they're on the show they want to do the best they can. Casey is laughing and says, "Not every single comment was helpful." The judges don't seem amused. Don't worry, Casey, soon you will be free of them forever.
Now for the Ford music video to the tune of "I'm a Real Wild Child." Casey James' home visit is next. We watch as he arrives in Texas on a private jet. Hoards of screaming fans greet him and the police stop traffic for him. Casey appears on a morning talk show and then it's off to Cool, Texas, his hometown.
A huge crowd greets Casey at his old high school. He signs a frau's dachshund. Girls have his name written in marker on their chests. Then he's off to the hospital where he was treated after his near-fatal motorcycle accident. The staff greets him and he gives them a signed guitar. His mom is moved to tears. He appears on stage in Fort Worth. We don't get to hear him sing or play guitar, though. Too bad. I bet we get to hear Lee sing.
Ryan asks Casey how it felt to see the doctor who saved his life. Casey says he cries when his mom cries. Nice story.
We return from the break. All the Idols are in the front row. There's Timmy! Now for Travis Garland who apparently was discovered online by none other than Perez Hilton. See you don't have to be on this stupid show to become famous. This guy dances around and there's a triple split screen for extra added excitement. How the hell does this guy rate an appearance on Idol. It sort of devalues the importance of the Top 3 results show.
Ryan pimps the auditions for Season 10. Then we watch Crystal return to Toledo. She signs some guy's chest and says this is all so weird. She pops her head in and out of the limo's sun roof and laughs her butt off. She gets the key to the city of Toledo and we hear her sing "Holy Toledo."
She's off to her dad's house for a barbecue and gets to see her son. She performs in front of a huge crowd and tosses out the first ball at a Toledo Mud Hens' game. She cries as she talks to Ryan and tells him her song has given her city a lot of hope. She's happy she had a chance to perform it at home and says she's wanted to do one of her songs all season. Maybe in the finals? That would be nice.
Lee's trip is next. He appears on the local morning show, throws out the first pitch at the Cubs' game (can't believe it), and lots of girls scream and yell. Little girls and big girls. He goes to his elementary school where there's more screaming. He stops off at the paint store and cries. He tells them he's going to try and "win this thing." Lee arrives at home and then sings "The Boxer" at some kind of racetrack. He breaks down, his dad breaks down, and it's all very moving.
Back live, Lee's eyes are brimming with tears. He thanks his parents for their support. Enough already.
Justin Bieber performs. Somehow, I've managed to have avoided hearing this kid. Girls sing along with him. Male dancers who are trying to look baaad leap around behind him and a big plume of sparks introduce his second (yes, second) song. Terrific... a Justin Bieber medley. This kid will be finished when his voice starts to change. What is wrong with the state of modern music today? There, I've said enough about Justin Bieber.
Finally, we are going to get to the elimination. The Top 3 are standing center stage. The lights dim. Ryan starts with Lee. More praise. Crystal is next and then Casey. "After the nationwide vote, the first person in next week's finale is... Lee." Big shock. "Joining Lee for a shot at the title is... Crystal Bowersox." She says, "Am I safe?" Crystal and Lee hug. Casey says he's thankful for the opportunity and says it's been an amazing journey. He sings "Daughters" again. He doesn't look sad at all. He walks by the judges and then picks up a little girl in the audience. Nice touch.
He hugs the judges and then we see his farewell video, including the when he removed his shirt. The show runs over one minute and we are out.
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