The 'Idol' audition caravan returns to Los Angeles, and certainly, we'll be entertained by an array of crazies vying for their 15 minutes (or seconds) of fame.
The show opens with clips of some of the better auditions, including Brett Loewenstern, Lauren Alaina, and my current fave, Casey Abrams. Ryan tells us this is some of the best talent we've seen in ten seasons. Really? Well, we'll see about that, now, won't we.
Thousands turn up to audition. Ryan tells us over 16,000 online auditions were submitted, but only a handful were selected. The judges arrive and we're ready to begin.
Victoria Garrett believes God brought the auditions to L.A. for a purpose and she is that purpose. She sings "Now Behold the Lamb," and it's not good. No, God didn't intend for her to make it. Randy says she sounds like an animal. Steven says she has a sweet and angelic voice, and sounds like a little lamby. It's a no.
Tim Halperin has had a crush on JLo for as long as he can remember. He sings "She Will Be Loved" with a nice flourish. Randy says he felt like he and Steven weren't even there and that Tim was singing only to Jennifer. Steven wants Tim to work on the voice and step it up some. It's a yes from Steven, a no from Randy, and a tentative yes from Jennifer. She likes his tone. So Tim is going to Hollywood.
We hear from Justin Carter, whom Jennifer says lacks power. Two friends, Daniel Gomez and Isaac Rodriguez, are auditioning together. Isaac has just dropped out of college to become the American Idol. Daniel doesn't make it, and it looks like Isaac should have stayed in college. Jennifer likes his smile. Randy says he burned the song down. Isaac thinks his only problem was that he messed up the words. Randy doesn't think either one of them should be singing. Isaac thanks them and says he'll keep practicing.
Karen Rodrigues auditioned online and is brought in front of the judges to sing "You Give Good Lovin'" Steven loves her and Jennifer says she has beautiful control. Karen tells JLo she sang in front of her on TRL. She gets a resounding yes.
Teneesha Roches thinks she's the next American Idol for sure. She strolls into the audition room carrying a microphone. She's totally obnoxious. She's doing a tribute to Frank Sinatra and is pretty horrible. Taneesha continues to sing, mixing up all kinds of songs and racing around the room. She can't be for real, can she?
More bad auditions, and really, I don't even want to bother trying to write down their names. Some guy who looks about 50 thrills and amazes the judges. Not. More ridiculous auditions follow. Let me intercede here for a moment. I hate these bad auditions. They are totally contrived for TV, a waste of time, and boring.
There are a couple of guys remaining, brothers, who think they can save the season. Mark Gutierrez is a math teacher and his brother Aaron, in the words of Mark, lives by his own rules. They duet to "Lean on Me." Together, they are awesome. Jennifer loves it. Steven calls their singing "Godlike." They don't even have to audition separately to get a pass on to Hollywood.
Last up, a ridiculous James Brown imitator who calls himself the "human torpedo." He's 59-years-old, a bit over the age limit, don't you think? Are they trying for another "Pants on the Ground" buzz moment here? If so, they failed. Another total waste of time. In fact, the entire hour was a waste of time.
Next Wednesday is the last audition show (San Francisco) and we are promised voices we'll remember forever, or something like that. Thursday is the first of the Hollywood rounds.