|Does Jacob's 'Idol' journey end tonight?|
As for my predictions, I'm beginning to think it may be Jacob who gets the ax tonight. I know, I predicted Stefano, but Jacob's rather ill-advised comment about people needing to look at themselves in the mirror if they didn't vote for him probably cost him some support. I don't know. I just don't know.
Voiceover man intros the judges and our host, Ryan Seacrest. Ryan says this could be a "very shocking results night here on 'Idol'" Constantine Maroulis and Iggy Pop are in the house. Ryan says we are "still riding high" after last night's show.
Our Top 9 offer up a rock medley starting with "I Love Rock 'n Roll." Casey leads off "The Letter." They are off-key and ridiculous. Paul gets a chance to participate in "Sweet Home Alabama." I remember Bo's spectacular version of this with Lynyrd Skynyrd and get a little ill. Jacob is racing about and grinding with Lauren. It's positively awful. Nice pointy pose at the end and we go to break.
The Ford video features the Idols pulling off some kind of heist and getting away in their Focus.
Ryan rolls footage of the Top 9 meeting Russell Brand, who came in to help them do something, not sure what. I guess he's supposed to be helping them improve their stage presence. Jacob wants to know how to go about being sexy. Russell says take your shirt off. He calls Casey a hairy ball of wonder. Russell Brand, of course, is opening his new movie, Arthur, this week. They play around sitting at the judges' table. It's a total waste of time.
The lights dim. Casey, Stefano, and Lauren join Ryan at the center of the stage. He starts with Casey, who's wearing a winter hat. Ryan asks if Casey saw Kelly Clarkson's Tweet about having a crush on him. He smartly declines to comment. Ryan moves on to Stefano. He asks Randy if he felt the same way when he watched it back. He says yes. JLo and Steven still disagree. I'm with you Randy. Stefano says Jimmy Iovine wants him to push more. We move on to Lauren. Here we go. One of them is in the bottom three. Lauren is safe. So, it's got to be Stefano, right? "After the vote tonight, Casey goes back... to the safety of the couches." Stefano is in the bottom three and strolls off to the stools of doom.
Constantine Maroulis performs "Unchained Melody," Simon's favorite song. I am tempted to fast-forward, but am watching live. Bummer. His hair is greasy, the arrangement is hokey, and his vocals are strained. Never been a fan and this performance doesn't change my mind in any way, shape, or form. All I want is for it to end! And end it does. I've never heard anyone do this as horribly.
Ryan talks to Constantine. He plugs 'Rock of Ages.' Ryan points out he's a new father. Ryan says he saw the show with Steven and Randy. Ryan does not have Constantine give the Idols any advise. Instead, we watch Gwen Stefani help
More results. Ryan pulls down Paul, Scotty, and Pia. Oh-oh. Could Paul be in the bottom three? Ryan wonders if it was easy for Paul to let loose. He said yes, and that it was easy because he was last. Ryan asks Pia if she has the stamina and endurance to be more comfortable. She promises she will put in a lot of work to do just that. Ryan asks Scotty if he got in trouble for singing on the school bus. Based on the vote, Scotty is safe. Grandma is happy. Either Paul or Pia is in the bottom three. It's got to be Paul, right? No, wrong, it's Pia in the bottom three. Someone swears (I think it's Steven saying WTF) and Pia's mother shakes her head in amazement. Paul over Pia. Wow!
Ryan now shows us a video of the Idols meeting TMZ. Harvey Levin tells them not to get arrested, but if they do, he advises them how to take a good mug shot. James is told he needs to man up a little. Someone tells Haley she could get a lipstick endorsement and Stefano is advised to beef up his Twitter page. They point out Lauren's fall down the stairs, and play it four times. They mock Scotty's faces. Harvey then asks some questions. Pretty good bit, actually. Ryan gets into a little smack to Harv.
More results - James, Haley, and Jacob. Haley and Jacob are holding hands. James looks like he's gonna cry. The audience applaud Jacob. One of them will fill the last spot in the bottom three. James is safe. Group hug. "After the vote, I can tell you, that Haley... you are safe." Jacob is in the bottom three. Randy looks shocked. The audience boos when Ryan reiterates the bottom three.
A shirtless Iggy Pop sings "Wild Child." Haley is doing the Jerk. James is hysterical. Iggy gets bleeped. Several times. It's totally manic and out of control as you might expect. I didn't even know he was still alive, but apparently so. I have serious issues with their choice of "guest" performers tonight.
Ryan welcomes us back for the "toughest time of the week." Ryan reminds us once again of Jacob's comment. "I can tell you now, Jacob, you will be leaving us... and going to safety on the couches." Now for the final results. "The person who leaves us tonight is... Pia." What? My mouth drops open. Randy says, "What?" The audience boos. JLo starts crying. She says she has no idea what just happened. She's shocked and angry. Randy says he is "gutted." Randy says no one is ever safe. He's really mad. Steven says "Lack of passion is unforgivable." Stefano looks like his eyes are going to bug out of his head. The judges and audience give Pia a standing ovation. I'm totally giving up making predictions.
After her funeral video, Ryan asks her to sing again. She wasn't planning on it, but soldiers through "I'll Stand by You." She manages to hold it together, but when she is finished, she breaks down sobbing in Jacob's arms. Stefano still looks like he's been hit in the head with a board. It is truly a stunning moment.
So there you have it. The best female singer is gone and everyone's predictions are shot to hell. With Pia gone, there are just two girls left in this, the "girl's year." Way to go, America!