Thursday, March 17, 2011

'American Idol 10' - Top 12 results show recap

Casey Abram's performs during the Top 12 performance show
Last night, the Top 12 performed music from the year they were born, and overall, it was pretty much a train wreck. Casey Abram's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was particular strange, what with the bizarre lighting, screaming, and horrifying facial expressions.

But Casey wasn't the worst of the night, not by a long shot. That honor has to go to Paul McDonald whose rendition of "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" was utterly tuneless and his dancing, well, let's just say it was reminiscent of the famous "Elaine Bennis" dance from Seinfeld. Jacob Lusk's yowling of Heart's "Alone" was a close second.

The thing is, I'm pretty much convinced that none of these guys will end up in the Bottom 3. I think we'll have three girls - Karen, Naima, and Haley, and Haley will go home. Will my predictions hold up? We'll soon find out.

We start out with more clips of the Idols as kids. Scotty wanted to be an astronaut, but he didn't have an "astronaut brain!" Clips of the judges' comments. Were they watching the same show I was? 

Scary voiceover man, who I guess has become a regular now, intros the judges and Ryan. Ryan tells us Lee DeWyze is with us tonight as are the Black-Eyed Peas. We see baby pictures of all of them. Ryan thanks us for our support of the Japan relief fund, but he doesn't tell us how much money was raised.

The Top 12 performs their ga-roup number, starting off with "Born to Be Wild." Jacob comes in too late.The girls sing "I Was Born this Way" and  Stefano leads off "Born to be Wild." They do a messy mashup of the two songs. Jacob takes the choreography very seriously! The whole thing is a horrific mess. Love it.

We see this week's Ford video. Ryan tells us this year 'Idol' is celebrating its tenth anniversary and over 250 million downloads have been sold. Everyone in the audience gets a copy of the 'Idol' anniversary CD. More stupid filler. Scotty can wiggle his ears. James wants to learn to speak Swedish. The girls make fun of Lauren's accent. They talk about their pets. Pia's dog Chloe sings.

Time for the lights to dim. But no, the lights turn green and and Irish jig plays. Jacob, Lauren, and Casey join Ryan center stage. Ryan reads the judges' comments. Ryan asks Randy what the key is to overcoming pitch problems. Randy says you have to be able to hear the note in your head. JLo says you have to be able to hear yourself on stage. Jacob is safe! Lauren is also safe. Casey? Ryan asks Steven what the ingredients are in the Goop. He says its the stuff that it takes to be creative. No worries, Casey is safe.

Haley and Dancin', gleaming toothed Paul are next! "Blah, blah," Haley, "blah, blah." No one cares what you have to say because you're going home girlie. Paul smiles brightly. One of them is safe and the other is in the bottom three. Haley goes to the stools of doom! Yesssss.

Pitbull is in the house and is sitting with Marc Anthony.

Our "reigning" American Idol, Lee DeWyze performs a dreary dirge. He won last year? Really? Compared to some of the guys this year, he actually doesn't sound bad. I want Crystal to come back and sing something.  Lee tells the Top 12 to remember why they tried out in the first place and at the end of the day, you've still got your music.

Who will join Haley on the stools of doom? Scotty, Pia, and James join Ryan. Scotty is safe. Someone in the audience shouts out that Pia is safe, and she is. Ryan asks Steven if he sees a little of himself when he watches James. Steven says, "No" and then "Yes." James is also safe. Stefano and Naima are next. Stefano is wearing a white wifebeater under his sweater. Naima says she's beginning to have a passionate hate for the word "pitchy." One is safe, the other is not. Ohhhh... Naima is in the bottom three.

Finally, we get Karen and Thia. Got to be Karen to make my sweep. JLo wants Karen to find songs that are in her range and show off her "beautiful voice." Thia says she hope we know she's not just a ballad singer. She says she can show so much more. And it's Karen in the bottom 3. "One of them could be leaving us unless they're rescued by the judges."

The Black Eyed Peas perform. They don't get a chance to give the Idols any advice!

We return from the break. Karen, Naima, and Haley are center stage. One goes to safety, and it's... Naima! Yeah! Don to Karen and Haley. "After the nationwide vote, the person in danger of leaving us tonight is Karen." Boooos from the audience. Will she get the save? She's singing "Hero" again. Randy and JLo are actually talking about this. I think they might save her. She sang beautifully. The judges will chat. Karen begs and cries. But it's all for naught. Randy delivers the bad news. "We are not going to use the save."

Karen watches her funeral video. Before it's even over, the judges are on the stage consoling her. They don't normally do that. End of the road for Karen and no points for me.

That's it for this week. Now we move on to the NCAA tourney! Let's go Orange!

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